I am a proponent of writing whenever you can, whenever inspiration strikes, regardless if any of it becomes useful later on. But when it comes to writing a book with the goal of being published, particularly when that book is a memoir, there are some critical questions to first ask yourself.
Why am I writing It?
This is the very first question you should address with yourself when setting out to write a book-length memoir for publication. Are you writing your book as a therapeutic exercise, to work out all of the traumas you’ve dealt with in your life? Are you writing because you think you have an interesting story to tell? Do you have a person or system you are seeking to expose? If you are writing more for therapy or simply to dish out an interesting story, this is something you’re writing for yourself, which is great, but not something you want to try to publish. If you want this to be marketable, it needs to bring in the reader in some way.
Similarly, you have to be conscious of your intentions when writing to expose someone or something. If you’re writing purely out of anger and hurt with no distance from the pain caused by whatever you’re writing about, it’s not likely you will be able to write something with the reader in mind.
Do you want to help someone who may be going through the same things you did and/or use your experience to teach others? You may be ready to write a book for the market. However, you need to know exactly what chunk of time you’re focusing on, how you are going to connect with your reader, and how you will show your internal/external growth throughout the course of the book.
Does it need to be published to meet my goals?
As I discussed above, sometimes our objectives for writing a memoir do not actually line up with publication (and that’s okay). It’s important to realize early on if the book you’re writing is even something you should make the effort of trying to have published. If you need your story to reach other people with similar experiences, and you want to give other people strategies for coping with those experiences, publication is probably going to be a step on the way to meeting your goal. If you want to tell your life story for your descendants to read to understand the family history, publication probably isn’t essential to achieving your goal.
Will I bring harm to myself or others by writing this book?
This is crucial to think about when writing a memoir. I’ve said it before and will say it again: do not force yourself to write about triggering memories. Getting the words on the page should serve you and your readers but never at the cost of your own health.
Additionally, memoir usually involves depicting people in our lives in ways they may not necessarily appreciate. Do you think this person may lash out or be saddened by what you write, potentially risking your relationship? Is this a relationship you want to protect, or a dangerous one you are trying to get away from? Deeply consider your relationships with those individuals before deciding to publish something that involves their stories and know your legal rights if you do.
Do I have the time to commit to making this book the very best it can be?
This is a general principle when writing any book. You need to be aware that the writing, editing, publishing, and marketing processes are going to take far longer than you would expect. This is typical and (usually) worth it. Be ready to set aside the time to get the real work done.
Am I open to being criticized about my own story?
Again, crucial. Once your writing is out there, your story isn’t just yours anymore. It’s a body of work, and open for critique just like any novel or nonfiction book. You have to be ready to stomach editorial feedback, book reviews, and reader comments about your writing on things that actually happened in your life. It’s not for everyone.
Am I ready to talk publicly about what happened to me?
Being published means selling and marketing your book, which means talking about your book a lot. Sure, maybe it was okay writing it all out of your system and even getting editorial feedback, but talking about it to large crowds of people? In podcast interviews? To random colleagues and friends who bought your book to support you?
My key point in asking you all of these questions is not to discourage you from writing your memoir. If you feel called to write about something, write it. But there are major differences between writing about your life for personal reasons and writing about it for the ever-changing market of publishing. Knowing the difference can distinguish between you writing a memoir that nobody will publish versus a memoir that agents will want to pick up.
If you’re interested in personalized coaching on writing your memoir and/or getting your memoir published, you can contact me for a free thirty-minute consultation.
Featured photo by Giallo.
Hanna Etu 